The Quixotic Quests of Q The Conqueror

Adieu, Adieu... A Message from Q

2008-06-13T14:48:00.000+07:00

Over a year ago, there was a conqueror who was queer and confused.

So he started to write about events in his life, the little joys he found in it, and the things which pissed him off.

Of course, this was a form of therapy for him.

Along the way, he gained friends (some of whom he communicates with only through YM), enemies and a pet Civet who he had kids with, all while conquering the rigors of school and the real world.

And then the conqueror realized, that well, he couldn't maintain a blog anymore because the real world needed conquering and well, the gay blogging world had sufficient conquerors already. Moreso, the problems which were relevant to him a year ago... just didn't exist anymore or just lost their relevance.

To all my good blogging friends/inspirations: Misterhubs, Migs, McVie, AJ, LoudCloud, Sofia & Pisanu, Wilted Prune, John Rotschild, Paolo, Empress Maruja (and fine, I include you here, Ocelot). And whoever I forgot: The other silent readers, fans (If I have any but I'm dreaming) and the blogging community:

This blog was one hell of a bumpy ride.

Eew. That was so cliche.

:) To those who know my YM, you could contact me there and to those who dont, you could e-mail me asking for it. Hehe. So at least, the adventures continue, on personal messenger, mayhap.

So with that, the conqueror sings a song for you:

So long,
Farewell.
It's time to say goodbye.

GoOOooooOOoooooOOooooOOOooodByeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!
GoOOooooOOoooooOOooooOOOooodByeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!

Queeroes! The Use of the Vibrator in Comics

2007-11-12T18:45:00.002+07:00

Sifting through my image archive, I rediscovered this old ad I got from superdickery:

Frederick's of Hollywood is offering a CORDLESS VIBRATOR.

"Exciting new massager!", the ad proclaims.

"Exciting and stimulating massager brings _____ joys and ___ for ultra satisfying ____. Deep, ga___, penetrating massage gives soothing beneficial relief from daily tensions. Women will find it invaluable for skin tone and complexion care. 7 inches long, completely safe. Batteries not included. $2.00."

* blanks = I couldn't decode the scanning.

Hmm... Massager... for women... with a male using it in the advertisement...

According to Superdickery's editor, this ad was found inside a comic. Given this, why would a *cough cough* cordless vibrator advertisement appear in the comic pages? What marketing team could have convinced Frederick's of Hollywood, a very reputable merchant, to sell their *cough* skin tone and complexion care product in a comic book?

My answer is simple. Comics and their characters are most likely representations of the human ego and imagination, most particularly those of young men who form the back bone of the comic industry. Given this high presence of testosterone, it is easy to find references to phallic symbols throughout the different comic book issues which may be construed as "Cordless Vibrators". It is my hypothesis that these formed the rational for Frederick of Hollywood's marketing push in the comic world.

Don't agree with me? View my proof.

1) Superman - supposedly the epitome of everything male.
We see him riding a giant missile, legs perched around its pink surface.
Encountering a banana boat.

And, the third phallic symbol, a torpedo, which Superman evades, but says "I eluded that one, but they'll keep on firing!" Hmmm...

2) Batman - The perennial target of homosexual accusations, Batman doesn't help his case by holding this:
Exposing Robin to it is no help in his case either.

This old comic featuring Joker's Boner doesn't help either.

3) Flash - The fastest man alive. In more ways then one...

... is running away from a gigantic missile.

Unfortunately, this wasn't enough to save him from being fingered.

4) Wonderwoman - Alright, Wonderwoman likes her bondage. That's a fact. But this is...

Just plain phallic and strange.

5) Captain Marvel
Loves riding his giant flying thing with the red head poking out. He also influenced...

6) Captain Marvel, Jr.

Who settled for something smaller, glittery and silver.

7) Namor

And his new toy...

8) X-Force
... And their flying logs.

9) Aliens
Not exactly cordless, but vibrating never the less.
Now we know where those cordless vibrators came from, cut off from these subjugated aliens, I bet.

10) The Human Torpedo
This is self-explanatory.

and the clincher on my argument:

11) The Weathermaster

Believe me now?

*source of pictures: www.superdickery.com

Queeroes! Tarzan of the Apes

2007-08-31T21:45:00.002+07:00

Tarzan. He was raised by apes, they say. Brought up in their customs and their beliefs, he is at times, more animal then man. Our story starts when one day, Tarzan sees something extraordinarily beautiful...

Hugging the tree he called home tightly, he felt his loins stirring up. And as he gazed at this beautiful spectacle, he couldn't help but move in an upward and downward motion. Making love to the tree as he watched from a distance.

Tarzan would do anything for his new-found love. But, first, he would have to get to know this stranger who made his heart throb.

Ingeniously, Tarzan thought of a way to get close to his lover.... No monkey can resist a banana., especially one as long and as white as Tarzan's.
And the monkeys and apes came in droves, delighted at the prospect of partaking of Tarzan's long sweet fruit and perhaps getting a sip from the golden fountain. He played with all the apes, treating each one equally, trying to learn more about his absent loved one.
Until finally, the being that captured Tarzan's heart arrived. And Tarzan gave it everything it needed and everything it wanted, letting it partake of Tarzan's fruit as much as it wanted, any time of the day.
Then the little primate started falling hard for Tarzan, despite his hairless body. It couldn't resist Tarzan's sweet fruits nor Tarzan's charm. It noticed the way Tarzan looked at it, and it blushed. Wishing for more. They got to know each other more. Days passed as they lived together, and the little primate growing more and more into the Chimpanzee it is. Tarzan and his lover started exploring each others thoughts and slowly realizing that despite their different evolutionary paths, they had a lot in common.
It wasn't long before they explored the forest together and became...

Inseparable.
Tarzan and his Chimp. The stuff of legends.
It was the Chimp, out of his love, who taught Tarzan the language of the other creatures of the forest.

Without Chimp, Tarzan wouldn't have met so many diverse creatures and experienced such ecstasy. Indeed, he is Tarzan...

Tarzan of the Apes.

Queeroes! The Queer Adventures of Spiderman - Spider Incest

2007-07-30T20:31:00.002+07:00

Thus it came to be, that one fateful day, tiring of Mary Jane Watson, Peter Parker searched for a woman of his own kind to mate with. He found Jessica Drew, the Spider-Woman. And together they mated...

When it was done, Peter left. Going back to his mundane life with MJ. And Jessica was left alone, eventually, Jessica learned that she was pregnant. She decided to keep it, and because of both her and Peter's radioactive hybridity, she gave birth within one month to a baby... who rapidly grew to manhood.

She called him....

THE SCARLET SPIDER!

As soon as he grew to manhood, Scarlet Spider donned a costume similar to that of his absent father and explored New York in pursuit of him.Meanwhile, Spiderman was helping New York's Finest with one of their many problems. But, this wonderful happening was wrecked by the arrival of SCARLET SPIDER!!! What followed was a fight for supremacy. Scarlet Spider was technically already a teenager (by spider terms), with the corresponding teenage sexual hormones. And Spider-Man was a man in his prime, oozing with testorone.... So they fought!And what a battle it was! And as these stalwart men fought each other, they felt an unnatural heat stirring in each others loins. They looked at each other, and despite their status as father and son.... They gave in to their desires. Each one claiming the other in every manner possible. However, as they lay sleeping in each other's arms, THE SCARLET SPIDER took advantage of the situation... He tied his father up in his natural webbing. And pried the mask off, wanting to see his father's real face. He was surprised to find that the man he just had sex with was.... Imagine the Scarlet Spider's horror when the man in the Spider suit told him, COME TO PAPA, BOY! READY FOR ROUND TWO ARE YA?

Queeroes! Superman's Fetishes Part 2

2007-05-22T14:20:00.002+07:00

As promised, here is Part Two of Superman's Fetishes, featuring his bondage and domination scenes.

Superman was undercover, in the wild, wild west. While in a saloon, he orders, like the fag that he is... a double head of cream.

The cowboy then accosts Superman, and starts training him.

Superman just loves being ridden. And after this, he is broken. The cowboy can make him do anything.
Superman passed his test with flying honors. And is then traded.
And traded again.
And traded again.

Somehow, Superman escapes Grimbor, but passes on what he learned to good ol' Lois.
And to conclude, read this little letter to the Editor back in the 70's.
*Click to enlarge*

Queeroes! Superman's Fetishes Part 1

2007-05-16T23:46:00.002+07:00

Everyone knows Batman's kinky. If you read the first post on Batman and Robin, you could see Batman spanking Robin a lot for no apparent reason. Not to mention the fact that he likes to use tights.

It is also a given that Wonderwoman's kinky. Woman + Magic lasso = Kink Heaven. Not to mention the fact that she goes around cavorting in a very flimsy outfit.

But no one would ever connect kinkiness with Superman, despite his superweaving, superlandscaping and super make-up. This is because Superman is the ultimate boyscout.... or is he? These pictures will prove that Superman and his "wife" Lois are kinkier then Batman, Robin and Wonderwoman.

As a boy, Superman was.. well... his parents were..... uhh.... look at the pictures.

This early introduction to spanking, led to even more.... deviant practices.

Bestiality
Voyeurism

This Spanking....
Finally led to Bondage and Domination...

Check this out in Superman's Fetishes Part 2. Coming soon!

Queeroes! The Gay Adventures of Batman and Robin Part 2

2007-05-15T21:14:00.002+07:00

We all know who Batman's greatest rival is... That long pointed white face with the weird green-shaded hair.... But we don't know the history behind this...

This clandestine encounter led to....

Batman and Robin analyze how the Joker could induce such boners... They manage to avoid some of them...

And as he shows the world how many people he can give boners to, Batman forces Joker into having a boner himself!

And that's how they caught him. But, Joker will forever be remembered as having "the Boner of the Year"

Batman and Robin even make fun of him....

But Joker's far from done...
*images taken from www.superdickery.com

Queeroes! Superman outed - A Preview

2007-05-08T14:12:00.002+07:00

You really, really don't believe that Superman's gay? Well think again. Before we go into the numerous gay activities Superman has done ever since he was still "Superbaby", lets check the outward proofs.

Proofs:

1. Creators: Superman was created by Jerry Siegel and Joe Shuster. The same guys who made "FUNNY MAN".
2. Powers: What?! Superman's powers are gay?! Isn't it how he uses it that is more important?! Well.... his creators and writers chose to gift Superman with these questionable powers, aside from X-Ray Vision, Ice Breath, flight, superstrength, heat vision, superspeed and a whole lot more, including these:
and the gayest of them all:

Now what straight guy would have SUPERWEAVING, SUPER LANDSCAPING and SUPER MAKE-UP in his arsenal? Just goes to show...

*images taken from www.superdickery.com

Queeroes! The Queer Adventures of Spiderman- Spiderman and Aunt May

2007-05-05T20:58:00.002+07:00

In celebration of Mother's day next week, I put in the spotlight a mother figure in the comic world - Spiderman's Aunt May.

Aunt May was born May Reilly in Brooklyn. After the death of her brother-in-law and his wife, she and her husband, Ben Parker, adopted their son Peter and raised him. Although she was afraid at first and thought that Peter would be the end of her marriage, she warmed up to him and became a true mother to him.

When Peter grew up and entered the Daily Bugle as a freelance photographer, she was afraid because her nephew was tracking Spiderman and taking pictures of him. When she finally learns about the fact that he is, in fact, Spiderman, they tell each other their deepest secrets and enter into a stronger relationship.

Lately, during Marvel's Civil War series, Peter brings Aunt May and Mary Jane to live with him inti Stark Towers, the home of the Avengers. Aunt May and MJ both convince Peter to reveal his identity to the world in order to push the importance of the superhuman registration act (the crux of the Civil War, wherein the government wants superheroes to register themselves and pitted Captain America, Luke Cage and some others versus Iron Man, Spiderman, Mr. Fantastic and the government). However, later on, Peter has a change of heart and realizes how dangerous registering actually is. He extracts MJ and Aunt May secretly from Stark Towers and goes underground, supporting the cause of Captain America. Unfortunately, Aunt May was shot by a sniper who was hired by the Kingpin (one of Spidey's enemies), and is now in the hospital still in a coma.

Now, on to the story:
Disclaimer: Although these comic covers and panels are taken from actual Marvel Comics, the following story is of my own invention and is not connected to Marvel Comics.

As usual, Spiderman is beating up some thugs. When all of a sudden... He is attacked from behind!
He is then captured, and the men have their way with him. When they were done, they collected all the white stuff and slowly drip it on him, wanting him to drown in cum.

Fortunately, Spiderman is strong! He is able to escape his sticky prison. He then goes home, still dripping with the very gooey white stuff which was left up his ass and all over his body.
Unfortunately, he leaves tracks all over his house, and his poor old Aunt May accidentally touches it.
Oh My GOD! Aunt MAY! The combination of all that cum and sweat of the radioactive Spiderman's body is enough to take over Aunt May and it fully coats her...

into a female version of the SILVER SURFER! (Now, we know why the Silver Surfer is so.... silver.) :))

Yes, yes, we all wish it could have been us that touched (and maybe tasted) whatsoever went out of Peter's room.

ADVANCED HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY EVERYBODY! (of course, included ang mga bading diyan, we all know that we have the best mothering instincts.)

To the creature known as Mika Mouse: You're still a mouse, no matter how macho you become. It's the curse of knowing me. Hahahaha. Just look at the Bomb Queen, she will always be a Bomb Queen no matter what she says. (It doesn't hurt that she is so.... bombastique) :P

*Images taken from www.superdickery.com

Queeroes! The Beginning of the Gay Adventures of Batman and Robin

2007-05-04T03:05:00.002+07:00

This post is dedicated to the Batbunny, the biggest (literally and figuratively) Batman fan I know. And who is also in perpetual denial about Batman's homosexuality. His stand is: "Robin may be gay. But not Batman!"

Once upon a time, a wealthy billionaire, himself an orphan, decided to adopt a young acrobat whose parents were murdered brutally.

The young boy, who lived most of his life in the circus, was suddenly living in wealth. However, not everything was perfect.
The boy was punished regularly.

However, he was also rigorously trained in by the billionaire in martial arts, acrobatics, detective skills, among other things. Finally, the Billionaire revealed himself as no other then... The Batman, and he said that the boy was to be his sidekick. He called him "Robin."

And his training was brought to new heights. The b illionaire loved it when the boy displayed his flawless legs, so he dressed him in no more then a shirt, a cape, a mask and green briefs.
However, the boy was becoming too uppity, so the billionaire showed him his place.
Numerous spankings later, the boy.... no... Robin, learned his place and became a useful part of Batman's life.
He also learned why Batman (see panel 2), spanked him for no reason at all... It was fun!
Finally, Robin beat his mentor in his own game.
and together, they had many wonderful adventures. Riding beasts together *hint*, and defeating evil villains.
And no matter how bad the previous night, they always woke up in each others arms.
Still have any doubts about Batman's sexuality? :))

To come in the next episode of QUEEROES!:
Trouble in Paradise! Someone will try to pull Batman and Robin apart!
The Spider-Man sex show (or whatever you call it nowadays).

*all images taken from www.superdickery.net

An Introduction from the Conqueror

2007-05-01T15:25:00.000+07:00

Friends!

On this quiescent night, a queer personage of a loquacious nature, equipped with his quill and a quarterpounder full of quickwitted quips, starts this soliloquy of his quests and quibbles; of quarrels and bouts of pique; and of the quandaries and quagmires he quashes and conquers everyday.

On a higher note, this querulous old queen aspires to find an answer to the quintessential questions which confronts the common queer. Rest assured, that every query and inquiry will be treated equitably and quickly, and the equivalent explanations therein be of premier quality.

And now, to quell the quivering of the quizzical reader who experiences the accumulation of Qs in this quadripartite introduction to this blog. This quixotic queer has the audacity to ask the populace to call him by the sobriquet of Q the Conqueror.