Blogger Template by Blogcrowds

Nov 12, 2007

Queeroes! The Use of the Vibrator in Comics

Sifting through my image archive, I rediscovered this old ad I got from superdickery:

Frederick's of Hollywood is offering a CORDLESS VIBRATOR.

"Exciting new massager!", the ad proclaims.

"Exciting and stimulating massager brings _____ joys and ___ for ultra satisfying ____. Deep, ga___, penetrating massage gives soothing beneficial relief from daily tensions. Women will find it invaluable for skin tone and complexion care. 7 inches long, completely safe. Batteries not included. $2.00."

* blanks = I couldn't decode the scanning.

Hmm... Massager... for women... with a male using it in the advertisement...

According to Superdickery's editor, this ad was found inside a comic. Given this, why would a *cough cough* cordless vibrator advertisement appear in the comic pages? What marketing team could have convinced Frederick's of Hollywood, a very reputable merchant, to sell their *cough* skin tone and complexion care product in a comic book?

My answer is simple. Comics and their characters are most likely representations of the human ego and imagination, most particularly those of young men who form the back bone of the comic industry. Given this high presence of testosterone, it is easy to find references to phallic symbols throughout the different comic book issues which may be construed as "Cordless Vibrators". It is my hypothesis that these formed the rational for Frederick of Hollywood's marketing push in the comic world.

Don't agree with me? View my proof.

1) Superman - supposedly the epitome of everything male.
We see him riding a giant missile, legs perched around its pink surface.
Encountering a banana boat.

And, the third phallic symbol, a torpedo, which Superman evades, but says "I eluded that one, but they'll keep on firing!" Hmmm...

2) Batman - The perennial target of homosexual accusations, Batman doesn't help his case by holding this:
Exposing Robin to it is no help in his case either.

This old comic featuring Joker's Boner doesn't help either.

3) Flash - The fastest man alive. In more ways then one...


... is running away from a gigantic missile.

Unfortunately, this wasn't enough to save him from being fingered.

4) Wonderwoman - Alright, Wonderwoman likes her bondage. That's a fact. But this is...

Just plain phallic and strange.

5) Captain Marvel
Loves riding his giant flying thing with the red head poking out. He also influenced...

6) Captain Marvel, Jr.

Who settled for something smaller, glittery and silver.

7) Namor

And his new toy...

8) X-Force
... And their flying logs.

9) Aliens
Not exactly cordless, but vibrating never the less.
Now we know where those cordless vibrators came from, cut off from these subjugated aliens, I bet.

10) The Human Torpedo
This is self-explanatory.

and the clincher on my argument:

11) The Weathermaster

Believe me now?

*source of pictures: www.superdickery.com

Read More...

Aug 31, 2007

Queeroes! Tarzan of the Apes

Tarzan. He was raised by apes, they say. Brought up in their customs and their beliefs, he is at times, more animal then man. Our story starts when one day, Tarzan sees something extraordinarily beautiful...

Hugging the tree he called home tightly, he felt his loins stirring up. And as he gazed at this beautiful spectacle, he couldn't help but move in an upward and downward motion. Making love to the tree as he watched from a distance.

Tarzan would do anything for his new-found love. But, first, he would have to get to know this stranger who made his heart throb.

Ingeniously, Tarzan thought of a way to get close to his lover.... No monkey can resist a banana., especially one as long and as white as Tarzan's.
And the monkeys and apes came in droves, delighted at the prospect of partaking of Tarzan's long sweet fruit and perhaps getting a sip from the golden fountain. He played with all the apes, treating each one equally, trying to learn more about his absent loved one.
Until finally, the being that captured Tarzan's heart arrived. And Tarzan gave it everything it needed and everything it wanted, letting it partake of Tarzan's fruit as much as it wanted, any time of the day.
Then the little primate started falling hard for Tarzan, despite his hairless body. It couldn't resist Tarzan's sweet fruits nor Tarzan's charm. It noticed the way Tarzan looked at it, and it blushed. Wishing for more. They got to know each other more. Days passed as they lived together, and the little primate growing more and more into the Chimpanzee it is. Tarzan and his lover started exploring each others thoughts and slowly realizing that despite their different evolutionary paths, they had a lot in common.
It wasn't long before they explored the forest together and became...

Inseparable.
Tarzan and his Chimp. The stuff of legends.
It was the Chimp, out of his love, who taught Tarzan the language of the other creatures of the forest.

Without Chimp, Tarzan wouldn't have met so many diverse creatures and experienced such ecstasy. Indeed, he is Tarzan...

Tarzan of the Apes.

Read More...

Jul 30, 2007

Queeroes! The Queer Adventures of Spiderman - Spider Incest

Thus it came to be, that one fateful day, tiring of Mary Jane Watson, Peter Parker searched for a woman of his own kind to mate with. He found Jessica Drew, the Spider-Woman. And together they mated...

When it was done, Peter left. Going back to his mundane life with MJ. And Jessica was left alone, eventually, Jessica learned that she was pregnant. She decided to keep it, and because of both her and Peter's radioactive hybridity, she gave birth within one month to a baby... who rapidly grew to manhood.

She called him....

THE SCARLET SPIDER!

As soon as he grew to manhood, Scarlet Spider donned a costume similar to that of his absent father and explored New York in pursuit of him.Meanwhile, Spiderman was helping New York's Finest with one of their many problems. But, this wonderful happening was wrecked by the arrival of SCARLET SPIDER!!! What followed was a fight for supremacy. Scarlet Spider was technically already a teenager (by spider terms), with the corresponding teenage sexual hormones. And Spider-Man was a man in his prime, oozing with testorone.... So they fought!And what a battle it was! And as these stalwart men fought each other, they felt an unnatural heat stirring in each others loins. They looked at each other, and despite their status as father and son.... They gave in to their desires. Each one claiming the other in every manner possible. However, as they lay sleeping in each other's arms, THE SCARLET SPIDER took advantage of the situation... He tied his father up in his natural webbing. And pried the mask off, wanting to see his father's real face. He was surprised to find that the man he just had sex with was.... Imagine the Scarlet Spider's horror when the man in the Spider suit told him, COME TO PAPA, BOY! READY FOR ROUND TWO ARE YA?

Read More...

May 22, 2007

Queeroes! Superman's Fetishes Part 2

As promised, here is Part Two of Superman's Fetishes, featuring his bondage and domination scenes.

Superman was undercover, in the wild, wild west. While in a saloon, he orders, like the fag that he is... a double head of cream.


The cowboy then accosts Superman, and starts training him.

Superman just loves being ridden. And after this, he is broken. The cowboy can make him do anything.
Superman passed his test with flying honors. And is then traded.
And traded again.
And traded again.


Somehow, Superman escapes Grimbor, but passes on what he learned to good ol' Lois.
And to conclude, read this little letter to the Editor back in the 70's.
*Click to enlarge*

Read More...

May 16, 2007

Queeroes! Superman's Fetishes Part 1

Everyone knows Batman's kinky. If you read the first post on Batman and Robin, you could see Batman spanking Robin a lot for no apparent reason. Not to mention the fact that he likes to use tights.

It is also a given that Wonderwoman's kinky. Woman + Magic lasso = Kink Heaven. Not to mention the fact that she goes around cavorting in a very flimsy outfit.

But no one would ever connect kinkiness with Superman, despite his superweaving, superlandscaping and super make-up. This is because Superman is the ultimate boyscout.... or is he? These pictures will prove that Superman and his "wife" Lois are kinkier then Batman, Robin and Wonderwoman.

As a boy, Superman was.. well... his parents were..... uhh.... look at the pictures.

This early introduction to spanking, led to even more.... deviant practices.

Bestiality
Voyeurism


This Spanking....
Finally led to Bondage and Domination...

Check this out in Superman's Fetishes Part 2. Coming soon!

Read More...